Telemarketing – the new dimension :)

This is the latest and greatest news in a while. Funnily its made my day too :) and raises my hopes of finding a ‘TELE-mate’ (sounds like some kind of a online shopping item, eh?) sometime real soon!

A married-for-a-long-time (M-F-A-L-T) friend let out a yell: “LATEST telemarketing call - TOI simplymarry.com!!!!!!!”

DG, trying to shake off a stupor: “What!”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “Have ppl lost it TOTALLY.. Credit cards loans and now spouse?”

DG, waking up: “You wanted a spouse? Another one? Bah! (Suppressing laughter) No one bothers with me, a single woman, and you get a call!!! Was there a buy-one-get-one-free offer?!” (hee hee)

M-F-A-L-T friend, ready to let out steam: “The newest wave of tele-callers - as if personal loans and insurance weren't enough to buy.”

DG: “Yeah! Darn innovative, what did they say?”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “I am Deepak calling from times of India simplymarry.com.”

Now, this friend is one of the cutest souls I know, ready to see the humor in all situations – provided she wasn’t racing to meet a deadline. Unfortunately, she’s busy with one right now, so I am going to have my imagination run wild – all alone! :)

Lets see how the conversation could have gone from that point!

Tele-caller: “I am Deepak calling from times of India simplymarry.com.”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “Calling from where? Huh?”

Tele-caller: “Times of India simplymarry.com, we are ready to help you ma’am.”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “Ya, Deepak, how can you help me?”

Tele-caller: “Ma’am we are having a special offer, ma’am. You can find a husband over the phone now!”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “Wow.. Are you sure this works?”

Tele-caller: “Yes, ma’am. For a certain charge, you can get calls from all eligible bachelors and you can respond in kind, ma’am. It’s very easy ma’am.”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “Ok. But the fact is that… ”

Tele-caller, interrupting: “Ma’am, additionally we are offering offers to your best friends and you can get a discount also ma’am.”

M-F-A-L-T friend, forgetting that she was married and just grappling with the very thought: “What! Are you saying that I can get a husband and a discount!?”

Tele-caller, relieved that he had a smart customer here: “Yes ma’am.”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “But listen, the fact is that I…”

Tele-caller, trying to close the deal: “Ma’am should I register your name? You will also need to tell me your height, weight and hair color ma’am.”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “hey, listen – I am not really…”

Tele-caller, speaking a lot faster: “Ma’am this is lifetime opportunity ma’am, this will not come again ma’am.”

M-F-A-L-T friend, really bugged and ready to kill: “Hello, please hear me.. I am MARRIED.”

Tele-caller: “What ma’am. You want to get married, that’s what I am trying to help.”

M-F-A-L-T friend, almost yelling: “oh my god!!! Please listen to this buster, I am happily married and don’t need a husband.”

Tele-caller: “What ma’am. But ma’am, you said you wanted to marry..”

M-F-A-L-T friend, actually yelling so the whole floor hears this: “Ye lords!!! Look I don’t want to marry and don’t need a husband. I have one at home (who is at office right now) and if he knows you called, he’d get really angry and you don’t want that.”

Tele-caller: “Ma’am, I can help your friends ma’am. Do you have… ”

M-F-A-L-T friend: “GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.. AARRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH”

Tele-caller: “Maaaa’am… maaa”